Help - I've changed!

For many of us, ageing seems to be the thing we fear the most. It can lower confidence and make us feel invisible, if we let it. We asked psychological beauty journalist Jo Carlowe why we are so scared of “growing older gracefully” and what we can do to combat the negative thoughts we have about our age and appearance.

 

“Age,” said Mark Twain “is an issue of mind over matter. If you don’t mind, it doesn’t matter.” The problem is that a great many of us do mind. A recent survey of British women, aged between 35 and 69, found that on average, women have negative thoughts about their bodies 36 times a day. They wereasked to press a ‘clicker’ every time they felt anxious about ageing and many ‘clicked’ whenever they looked in the mirror.

 

Psychologists say evolution provides the answer. Studies show that women are rated most attractive during ovulation (the time when they are most fertile). Youth and beauty go hand-in-hand with the idea of high fertility, while the converse is true of old age. And it’s not just men, but women too who equate youth with beauty, says body-image expert Dr. Kerri McPherson of Glasgow Caledonian University. Yet, just because a woman may look older she doesn’t necessarily feel it, so it’s hard to accept age-associated changes when you still feel young. “Women want to be as attractive as the age group they feel themselves to be,” said Dr. McPherson. And although she claims the media did not create these problems, she says it does ‘inflate pressure that already exists.’ So we are faced with a triple whammy: – under pressure from the media, our partners or friends and ourselves.

 

For starters, Dr. McPherson urges women to be realistic. “The images in magazines are nearly always air-brushed. Compare yourself to your contemporaries and not the women in Vogue.” She suggests women focus on their positive traits and the parts of their bodies that they like most rather than those that make them unhappy. Positive psychologist, Dr. Ilona Boniwell, of the University of East London, also advises people to meditate on the positives of getting older, which, according to research, include less depression and deeper bonds with friends and family. A study from the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology even showed that people who feel positive about ageing live 7.5 years longer than their negative peers, while those with negative stereotypes had worse memories and recovered from stress more slowly than their optimistic friends. A sunny disposition may even improve how you look as well as how you feel claims happiness guru Cliff Arnall, noting that ‘psycho-dermatologists’ make a link between emotional stress and skin problems. But it’s not just a good attitude that counts, Tim Bean, co-author of ‘Turn Back Your Age Clock’ says women can look younger by improving their diet, muscle tone and fitness levels too. “By eating well and exercising you are cleansing the skin and flushing out toxins. The skin goes from being dry and lifeless to having more sheen.” So the evidence is compelling – eat, live and think right and you may never need to click that virtual ‘clicker’ again.”

 

So for a healthy approach to ageing it’s all about a positive mental attitude. But nothing helps give a little extra confidence boost like effective anti-ageing creams. Why not try our suggestions below to help turn back the clock, or some treatment cosmetics to get you looking your best.